Why do people sometimes look furious when they’re actually celebrating? And why do we back away and cry when we receive the best surprise of our lives?

In this episode, Kristi explores dimorphous expression, the psychological phenomenon in which our physical expressions can look completely opposite to the emotion we're actually experiencing. From athletes celebrating a win to “cute aggression” and the infamous musical “stank face,” Kristi looks at the fascinating ways our brains and bodies respond to intense emotion.

Then, in the Communication Tip, Kristi shares a lesson from a historical presentation that reminded her just how important grounding and purposeful movement are in the courtroom. Your body is part of your communication instrument, and unnecessary movement can add sensory information that makes it harder for jurors to focus and learn.

LISTEN HERE...

Key Takeaway

Your body is part of your message.

Whether you're managing an intense emotional response or simply shifting your weight while presenting, your physical behavior affects how your communication is experienced. Learn to notice what your body is doing, bring your movements under control, and use your physical presence intentionally.

Favorite Moment

“The skill here is learning to USE your body FOR communication. It’s an instrument, just like your voice. It’s not just along for the ride. It’s part of the vehicle of communication delivery.”

Links & Resources

FREE EMOTIONAL PROFILE GUIDE - https://www.fostervoicestudio.com/opt-in-a73db0af-170f-425d-95d6-dfad8837db8a

Stank face - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DblzP-9tM3A/?igsh=a2s3czM0bmExc200

Cute Aggression - https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zqcw96f

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And until next time...keep fostering your voice.

TRANSCRIPT:

Helloooooo!! Hello Foster Fam! We're in full-on fall mode here in Portland. Changing leaves, crisp mornings, pumpkin patches and corn mazes just on the brink of opening. I LOVE fall!!! Do you have fun fall activities that you do as a family? Email me at [email protected] to let me know what things you like to do during this special time of year.

Today, we're talking all about getting grounded and controlling your space and energy in the courtroom, but first, I want to share with you something that I've been noticing that is just...weird. ha!

So, I've noticed something for...actually several years now but i didn't even know really how to look it up to research it. I've noticed it across disciplines in multiple scenarios though. Enough that it was noteworthy and piqued my curiosity. And it was this...

In moments of celebration and elation, often the person celebrating whatever accomplishment or triumph looks absolutely raging.

I think i first started noticing it while watching football. Big celebrations but all their nonverbals are creating an emotional profile more akin to anger — teeth bared, nose flared, fists clinches, big mouth, full-throated yelling (almost war cries). How does THIS capture extreme joy?!

I thought maybe it was just a guy-thing. Football is well-known for being aggressive and i imagine all that hype up and analogies of going into battle, and just...testosterone pumping...it kinda made sense to me. So I started paying attention to women's sports, and across cultures by watching the Olympics and it was all the same.

Universally, people express huge moments of celebration and joy with a face and body that communicates extreme anger and rage. Isn't that weird? Have you noticed this too?

I didn't know there was an actual name for it until I came across a reel this last week talking about it and it FINALLY gave me something to actually research. It's called "dimorphous expression." And it's a psychological phenomenon where a person displays physical expressions or behaviors that seem opposite or unrelated to the emotion they are actually feeling.

So, why does this happen?

Well, researcher Dr. Oriana Aragón, found that dimorphous expressions act as a kind of emotional "pressure valve" or form of emotional regulation. So, when you experience an intense emotion—whether it's extremely positive (like cuteness or joy) or very negative (like stress)—your brain just gets overwhelmed. Expressing a contrasting physical reaction helps balance out those intense physiological surges and brings your emotional system back to some stability.

I just think this is so interesting. I guess because I just spend so much time helping people ACCURATELY represent their intended emotional profile with their face, breath, body, and voice that I'm just particularly intrigued at all the ways the brain and body kind of create the exact opposite expression than what is intended. It's wild to me! haha!

I watch a lot of sports, so I see it all the time there. But it's not just in sports.

Do you ever get caught up in your doomscrolling in all the, like, military reunion videos? Veterans coming home to surprise their kids at school. Or even kids getting surprised with a gift they've wanted. It's really rare to see big smiles and immediate embraces, right? Have you noticed this? Most of the time, the person receiving the best surprise of their life BACK AWAY, and burst into tears, absolutely crumbling in a heap. Start paying attention to this. It's so intersting.

Have you ever seen a puppy or a baby and you've said, "Ooh! I just want to eat you!" What?! What's THAT about? You want to EAT them? Or pinch them? Or squeeze them? I mean, just wherever you are right now, pretend like someone just came in holding a puppy. What's your instinctive reaction? If you're just listening to this episode you can't see that I've clinched my fists and i'm doing like a squeezing motion with them. Isn't that weird? Totally normal and we all do it, but it's a little weird, right?

This is actually called "cute aggression," and I've put a link to an article about it in the show notes if you're interested in reading more. It's all tied in with Dr. Aragon's research into how extreme happiness and intense anger share a similar high level of physical arousal in the brain. Both extremes pump a rush of adrenaline and energy through your body. And when your brain feels overwhelmed by a powerful emotion, it uses physical movements like clenching teeth, furrowing brows, making fists or yelling to release that heavy burst of energy. Your body reacts to the sheer intensity of the feeling rather than to the actual emotion, whether it is good or bad.

We do this with music too. You hear a groove or a beat drop that you LOVE. What do you do facially? You make a "stank face." That's what it's called. Again, if you're only listening, you're missing out on my vast array of stank faces here. Switch over to my YouTube channel "Foster Voice Studio" if you want a visual.

Your brain counter-balances your extreme pleasure response to the music by firing off a negative motor reflex, simply to prevent your nervous system from emotional overload.

As a communicator...a responsible communicator, and effective communicator...it's SO important that you have a firm grasp on your own emotional profile construction AND understand how and when the brain short-circuits and expresses the complete opposite of the intended emotional expression. There are phenomenons, like dimorphous expression, that will impact not only the way you deliver your communication, but how it is received.

I have a free guide that's all about emotional profiles that you may want to check out. I go through 5-6 core emotions, and other words/emotions that fit under their umbrella to create a spectrum of expression, and then what you need to do with your face, your body, your voice, and your breath to actually capture the true emotion you're wanting.

If you go to my website, fostervoicestudio.com, click on the red box in the upper right corner that says "10x Your Communication." I've also put the access link in the show notes for you.

—BREAK—

All thru the summer, and actually through September too, my city, Vancouver WA, hosted quite a number of America250 events. Maybe your city did too. Where I live, we have Fort Vancouver that was the home of the Hudson Bay Trading Company, and then Lewis & Clark, and the Oregon Trail...so I feel like we're steeped in Americana here.

Anyway, as part of the America250 series, I attended a number of historic talks and took several tours of sites and markers right close to me. I've said this before on the pod, that I'm kind of a nerd and I love me a good historical tour and educational talk.

So, I went to one at the library all about the Dragoons. Now I only knew this word because years ago, i'd watched the show Turn all about Washington's spies during the Revolution. So, I knew about, or at least I'd heard about the Army Dragoons. These are horse mounted soldiers, but they didn't JUST fight on horseback. They ride into a battle, but then often they'd dismount, and then fight with swords in close-in combat.

There was a Dragoons unit stationed at Fort Vancouver, where I do my daily walks, so I was interested in learning more about their assignment and what life was like while they were here.

Now, the presenter was, is, an EXPERT. Not only does he know the complete history of dragoons, and other aspects of fighting batallions and soldier life, but he's also an expert in weaponry and has a specialized training school, or maybe it's called a studio, to teach the tactics of sword battles and historic western martial arts.

What I was thinking during the presentation, was not all the interesting information he was sharing, nor intrigue into how he got into this very niche content. NO, what I was thinking all through the talk was, "For the love of God, just stand still, PLEASE!"

As he was presenting his slides, he was moving. But not with purpose. Not to enhance his message. AND...we're not talking just frenetic energy that might cause swaying or nervous shifting of weight, or even just taking a few awkward steps. No...he would walk forward maybe 10 feet, but then he'd walk backwards...BACKWARDS...the same path. It wasn't even exactly pacing. It just was...advance...then retreat. But it had NOTHING to do with his presentation, and it actually made it hard to hear his main points. His lack of grounding, lack of physical control, discounted his credibility even thought i KNEW he was considered an expert in this very specialized field, and even though I was eager to learn from him. I found it nearly impossible and by the end of his presentation, I was wound up so tight that I was accidentally snippy to my friend on the walk home and I had to just take some deep breaths to recover myself. ha!

To me, this experience highlighted just HOW IMPORTANT it is to ground your stance when you're presenting. Jurors (mostly) are not enthusiastically attending. It's called jury DUTY for a reason. They're entering in with an uncommon level of nerves, anxiety, discomfort, uncertainty, AND they have no idea what you'll be talking about but they have pressure to interact with that material and then make weighty decisions about that material. They're not just attending a for-fun presentation at the library. The stakes are high. And when you are not grounded, you are sabotaging their learning, and elevating their stress response.

Now, I don't really think that you're mindlessly wandering, or like my presenter, advancing and retreating but when you have unregulated movements, but you ARE giving additional sensory material that is over-taxing your jurors every time you adjust your posture, or take meaningless steps, or shift your weight just because. It's yet another way you threaten their cognitive load threshold.

BUT…I also don’t want you standing stiff, like a soldier, without any give or fluidity in your body. I want the best of both worlds. I know…so finicky. Haha!

The skill here is learning to USE your body FOR communication. It’s an instrument, just like your voice. It’s not just along for the ride. It’s part of the vehicle of communication delivery, and you need to treat it as such.

Practice standing and breathing. Don’t shift your weight. Just get balanced right from the get-go and practice stillness. Maybe even test yourself by setting a timer and just challenge yourself to hold your posture. I bet you will almost immediately feel the temptation to move. And that’s normal. But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s something you should keep getting away with. Learn to reign it in. Channel that physical energy. After a minute (if you can hold still that long), take 5 purposeful steps. In your mind, maybe picture walking to the other side of the jury box. Once you take those 5 steps, plant yourself and hold for another minute. Get your balance, and stand equal weighted between both your feet. At the end of that minute, shift your weight to one foot, sitting back into your hip, and stay THERE for 30 seconds. Then take 5 steps in the other direction, sit back into the other hip and stay there for 30 seconds.

These aren’t prescriptive movements or pathways. This exercise is just a disciplined drill to bring your brain online and take notice of how much it wants to move without purpose. Or maybe it’s perfectly fine being still. Maybe this isn’t something you struggle with. But you won’t KNOW until you test it.

Stable posture, and grounding your stance signals confidence and broadcasts your authority. Be careful not to take it too far and accidentally become rigid and robotic in your standing or in your walking. Just tune into your body. Notice where you’re holding tension and ask if it is necessary and/or if it is serving not just you, but also is it serving your message and serving your audience.

Help them hear you better, and clearer by using your body as part of your expression and delivery. And until next time…keep fostering your voice.