FYV #70 - Calm the Room: What Jurors Need From You First
May 18, 2026In this episode, Kristi shares a personal reflection on anxiety, stress regulation, and the grounding tools that have helped her navigate moments of overwhelm. She walks listeners through the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise, a practical nervous system regulation tool designed to interrupt spiraling thoughts and reconnect you to the present moment.
Then, in the communication tip segment, she explores the invisible emotional tension jurors bring into the courtroom—and why trial attorneys must intentionally create calm, psychological safety, and connection in high-stress environments. From nervous system regulation to “designed alliance,” this episode focuses on how grounded leaders help others think more clearly.
LISTEN HERE...
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
What the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise is and how to use it
How grounding techniques help interrupt anxious thought spirals
Why anxiety often pulls us into the past or future—and how sensory awareness brings us back to the present
The importance of pairing grounding exercises with low, deep breathing
Why courtroom environments are inherently stressful for jurors
How stress impacts listening, learning, memory, and decision-making
Why emotional regulation is contagious in leadership and communication
What a Designed Alliance is and how it helps lower tension during voir dire
How creating ease and safety improves juror engagement and learning
Key Takeaway
Jurors cannot think clearly when they feel threatened or overwhelmed. Calm, regulated leadership creates the conditions for better listening, stronger retention, and more thoughtful decision-making.
Favorite Moment
The guided walkthrough of the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise makes the episode immediately practical and accessible—especially the reminder that the goal isn’t perfection, but simply redirecting attention back to the present moment.
Links & Resources
54321 Grounding
How Leaders Shape Team Stress – And What to Do About It https://carolinedowdhiggins.com/how-leaders-shape-team-stress-and-what-to-do-about-it/
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TRANSCRIPT:
—WELCOME—
Whether stress is chronic for you or shows up occasionally, this exercise can help you re-center. I, thankfully, have not been a long-term anxiety sufferer. There’s probably been a low-level undercurrent there, that, actually, I've been able to use to fuel my administrative skills—proactive problem solving and organization. But in the last 6 months or so, I have sensed a shift.
I'm chalking it up to perimenopause, and all my research supports that notion, but...as I walk down the pathway of life, I have just been confronted with my need to actually manage my anxiety. Last fall, I had about 2 weeks of really being imbalanced and it kinda scared me. It really helped me grow in compassion for folks that suffer under that kind of imbalance.
It was at that point that, well, not only did I talk with some people close to me to alert them to what was going on, but I also started curating some exercises and protocols to help myself through those moments. Now, I find that this particular exercise just helps me bring focus back to the moment, bring me back to the present—if I'm caught in an obsessive thought from the past, or if i'm projecting too far into the future.
The exercise is a 54321 Grounding practice. It’s designed to interrupt spiraling thoughts and anchor your attention in the present. Are you familiar with this? Whether this is new to you, or you're already familiar, let's just do it together right now. It's easy to do by yourself, wherever you are, whenever you need to. We're going to use our 5 senses to just connect to the present space you're in and bring ourselves back to feeling grounded.
So, start with naming 5 things you can see. There's no rhyme or reason for it. They don't all have to be in a certain category, or color scheme. Just look around your space and name 5 things you see with your eyes. I see a pot of flowers, a throw pillow, a music stand, a lamp, and my microphone.
Next, name 4 things you can touch, without moving about. Just what's touchable within your immediate space. I can touch my printer, my selfie stick, my waterbottle, my neck fan.
Now, let's name 3 things we can hear. I can hear a plane in the distance. I can hear my neighbor's dog, Eleanor, bark. I don't know if you can hear that too. And lastly, I can hear a very faint sound coming from my overhead lights, just kind of ambient noise that's very subtle.
Two things you can smell. This one is a little tricky for me. I'm in kind of a contained area. I can smell...my lotion, and...oh, i have an essential oil roller ball. This is focus blend. Pepperminty.
And lastly, what's 1 thing you can taste. I have some white grape peach flavoring in my water, so i'll say that.
Okay, that's the 54321 grounding exercise. But even if you just do a couple of the easier ones in limited time, it's all good to bring you back into the present. The goal isn’t to do it perfectly—it’s to shift your focus. Partner it with some good low, deep breaths in between, and now you really have a winning combination.
I've put the link to an article, in the show notes, that explains a bit more about this specific ground exercise if you want to read up. I hope you found it helpful. I know it has been for me. So, send me a message to let me know if you've tried this, and what effect it had—kind of a before and after.
—BREAK—
Have you ever walked into a room and you just can kind of sense something's a little off? Call it discernment, or intuition, or level 3 awareness, but I think we've all experienced something like this before. Maybe you've walked into a meeting JUST after your partners were in an elevated conversation. Their argument has stopped, but you can just feel residual "energy" in the space. Maybe you've even said out loud, "Everything okay" as you kind of freeze your body and wait. Has that happened to you before? Or, something similar? You can just sense tension; sense a bit of stress.
It's that kind of intangible, hovering in the air, hard to define type of stress that jurors are under. There's tension in the courtroom. One party has sued the other party because of some bad doing. That is a tension-filled scenario. And that tension doesn’t just disappear when proceedings begin. People are braced. Attorneys, witnesses, clients, and most certainly the jurors. Jurors have an element of uncertainty that the others don't have. Attorneys, witnesses, clients, and the judge even...they know what the case is. Jurors are coming in blind. They're the ones walking into the conference room meeting, so to speak, and bracing themselves for the unknown.
They are STRESSED. And stressful scenarios are not ideal for listening, learning, equal balance in the nervous system, and decision making.
So...YOU need to do something. But what can YOU do, as a leader in the courtroom, to bring down the tension?
First you need to keep your own stress level in check. Just like breathing is contagious (as I've talked about in other episodes), stress is also contagious. You set the emotional tone for the courtroom. Whatever energy you want to radiate into the room, that's the type of energy you need to bring into the room.
And, let's just recognize that you are not the originator of the stress. You might be contributing to it through your own energy, like I just talked about, but you didn't start the stress. The situation, the justice system, the very building lays the stress foundation. And you're the one that has to try to course correct. As leadership coach, Caroline Dowd-Higgins says, "It’s like inheriting a house with faulty wiring; just because you didn’t install it doesn’t mean you’re not responsible for fixing it."
So beyond self-regulation, how are you going to fix it? Well, I, admittedly, don't have THE answer, but ONE answer is to acknowledge it briefly and confirm your juror's sanity. Even starting your voir dire with a simple statement like, "I know this setting can feel formal and a bit uncomfortable, but I'm hoping that we can set that aside for a bit and just have an easy conversation about some of the principles of the case."
This is called a Designed Alliance. I know Sari de la Motte, in her From Hostage to Hero book, talks about this too. The goal here is to just disrupt the stress energy, and bring some EASE into the moment. Disarm. Connect. Start right from the get-go to try building bridges and creating an environment that is open, warm, welcoming, inclusive, accommodating, and attentive to juror's mental, emotional, and physical needs.
Reduce stress to improve learning. Calm brains learn better, and process better, and your regulation sets the tone.
Until next time, keep fostering your voice.