In this episode, Kristi shares a powerful reminder about identity, growth, and the invisible ceilings we place on ourselves. Using a playful vocal experiment—singing your highest note versus singing like an opera singer—she demonstrates how self-perception directly impacts performance. She explores the difference between imitation and integration, encouraging attorneys to rehearse the version of themselves they are becoming without sacrificing authenticity.

In the communication tip, she breaks down what “belly breathing,” “diaphragmatic breathing,” and “grounded breathing” actually mean—physiologically and practically. You’ll learn how the diaphragm works, why shallow breathing limits authority, and how regulated breath supports vocal resonance, flexibility, and calm courtroom leadership.

LISTEN HERE...

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How identity shapes vocal capacity and performance

Why imitation can be a powerful tool for growth (when integration is the goal)

The difference between borrowing perspective and borrowing personality

What “belly breathing” actually means anatomically

How the diaphragm, intercostals, and accessory muscles coordinate during breath

Why shallow chest breathing can keep you in a mobilized stress state

How grounded breathing supports vocal resonance and calm authority

A simple physical exercise to begin retraining your breath pattern

Key Takeaway:

Authority isn’t something you force—it’s something you regulate. When you shift your identity and anchor your breath low and steady, you unlock vocal range, presence, and grounded leadership that was already available to you.

Favorite Moment:

The opera singer experiment—when your “highest note” suddenly becomes stronger and freer simply because you shifted who you believed you were in that moment.

Links & Resources:

Leave a review for Foster Your Voice Podcast on Apple Podcasts

Want more?

If this episode stretched your thinking—or your vocal range—share it with a colleague who’s ready to expand theirs. And if you’re working on grounded breathing or experimenting with a new leadership identity, I’d love to hear what you’re discovering.

Until next week, keep fostering your voice.

TRANSCRIPT:

Helllloooooo!!!! Hello Foster Fam! Welcome to today's episode of the Foster Your Voice podcast. I wanted to take just a second to do a quick shout out to ChrissyH1225 who left the following review on Apple Podcasts. She says:

Foster Your Voice is one of those rare podcasts that actually delivers what it promises. Kristi Foster embodies authority and poise while still being incredibly warm and relatable. What I love most is how empowering this show feels. Every episode leaves you walking away more confident, more grounded, and ready to take up space in your own life and career. Kristi doesn't just host, she leads, and she does it with grace. If you're looking for something motivating, insightful, and genuinely uplifting, this is must-listen.

Chrissy, thank you for this! I mean, especially from a badass like you?! I can't tell you how encouraging this is to me. Thank you!

If you haven't already left a 5-star rating and a quick review, please take just a minute to do so. It's not that I'm fishing for compliments like Chrissy's. I mean, that was an ego boost. But getting ratings and reviews helps push out the episode onto podcast platforms and helps other people find it. So, leave just a quick note to let me, and others, know what you're enjoying and learning.

Now, Chrissy mentioned getting more grounded and we're going to talk about that in more detail today—what that means and how to achieve it. But before we get to that, I wanted to offer a gentle challenge for you if you're trying to grow in your communication skills.

When I'm working with my 1:1 clients, I KNOW that I'm asking them to do some things that are outside of their natural comfort. I'm asking them to stretch their vocal range in ways that no one has ever asked them to. So of course it’s challenging. It takes willingness. It takes repetition. And it takes time.

But...let's just do a quick little experiment together. Make sure you're in an emotionally safe space, like your office with the door closed or alone in your car. Then, just make the highest natural pitch possible for you. Dare to be a little silly, and just sing your highest note.

Did you do it? Seriously...do it now. Just squeak out your highest note quick.

Okay...how'd that sound? How'd it feel? I'm guessing that it was maybe a bit strained and probably a bit weak. Which, makes perfect sense. Remember your vocal cords are muscles and that part of the muscle probably hasn't gotten regular workouts. And muscles don’t suddenly perform at their peak without training. Totally understandable, reasonable, and normal.

Now let’s change only one variable — your identity. In you mind picture an opera singer. Did you know that in traditional live opera, they don't use microphones? They just sing out and fill up the whole theater with sound. Amazing! So, without thinking too much about it, sing like an opera singer. Bust out your best impersonation of an opera singer. Maybe you've heard the ending notes of Nessum Dorma, or you've seen the reels going around of people singing the Queen of the Night aria trying not to laugh. Whatever it is, just bust out something quick.

Okay, is there anything to notice here? MOST of the time, when asked, to imitate an opera singer, notes that used to be squeaky and weak suddenly have some power, some body to them, and maybe even are higher than when you sang "your highest note." Turns out there was more available to you. Not because your vocal cords changed — but because your self-perception did.

This is just one, fairly tangible, example of the way that we set invisible barriers for ourselves. We can't imagine certain milestones for ourselves, in our own power and with our current scope of knowledge or experience, and so we cap ourselves. We set a ceiling for our growth, for our expression, for our goals. And we often mistake that ceiling for a fact instead of a story.

BUT...we can surprise ourselves when we step away from our self-imposed limiting beliefs and imitate someone else, or mimic their actions. Remember when those WWJD bracelets were all the rage? The idea being that those who wore them would be reminded to do things beyond their natural inclinations and ask instead, "What would Jesus do?" to find the behavior they wanted to do instead.

I mean, you can fill in the blank of WW?D. What would a charismatic person do? What would an experience lawyer do? What would a brilliant orator do? Picture someone in each of those categories and use their name for a mental WW?D bracelet.

Now, I'm not advocating for you to lose yourself in someone else's personality. There's a limiting belief also that you have to be like the Keith Mitniks, the Nick or Courtney Rowleys of the world. There’s a difference between borrowing perspective and borrowing personality. I will always advocate for you to stand in your OWN authenticity and presence. Jurors can detect borrowed tactics that aren’t internally integrated. And they reject them.

BUT...there are inspirations we can draw from. This is a very natural, intuitive part of learning. I mean, think of when you sing along with someone in the car. When you're just relaxed and having fun, you sing LIKE the singer. Even before then, let's take it WAY back...when you're learning to speak, you mimic. Do you think we just came up with mama and dada and all the animal names and sounds by ourselves? No, of course not. We mimicked. We imitated, AND we made it our own and connected to it authentically. Imitation was never the end goal — integration was.

THAT'S what we're talking about here. Sometimes we practice it before we fully believe it. When we're trying to push ourselves to develop some new skills and are daring to go bigger than what we thought we were capable of we rehearse the version of ourselves we’re growing into.

Stretching your range, developing your voice and increasing your nonverbal communication skills isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about discovering the range that was always yours.

—BREAK—

It occurred to me recently, that we throw around words that we just assume everyone understands. We kind of take it for granted. I talk with my coaching clients about this all the time, but I want to make sure I'm not guilty of it either.

When we use terms like "belly breathing," "diaphragmatic breathing," or "abdominal breathing"...what REALLY are we talking about? And HOW in the world does this help us "get grounded." What does THAT mean?!

I have no doubt you've heard all those phrases before and you maybe get the gist of things, but what is actually happening? How does that anatomy work, and how do the moving parts coordinate? THEN, how and why does any of that help to deepen resonance, stabilize your voice, and help communicate authority without forcing it?

Let's unpack it.

Okay, so...breathing involves your diaphragm, intercostal muscles (these the muscles between your ribs that help your ribcage expand to make room for air to go into your lungs), and accessory muscles (those are the muscles around your shoulders and neck.

The diaphragm is a dome shaped muscle that separates your thoracic cavity from your abdominal cavity. It's a really interesting muscle because it behaves kind of like a jellyfish — lowering & flattening out when it's activated, and then going back to it's dome shape when it relaxes.

Now, above the diaphragm are the lungs. So, when the diaphragm lowers, the lungs stretch downward and air is able to fill in. The intercostals help expand and stabilize the rib cage, which allows the lungs to expand outward, so even more air can fill in. Then, if needed, the accessory muscles lift the upper ribs and sternum, giving just a smidge more room for additional lung expansion. Down, all around, and up. That's how you inhale.

THEN, when you exhale, everything returns to its relaxed state—the diaphragm relaxes and domes back up. The elastic recoil of the lungs and rib cage helps push air out, and the rib cage returns to a more neutral position and you breath out.

Okay, so...what's the issue? Well...it's been my experience that most folks, instead of initiating their inhale with their diaphragm, they start with the intercostals and think they're taking a low breath. Or actually, when I ask new clients to take what they think to be a deep breath, they'll go like this...(breathe high into shoulders).

Now, why is this bad? Well, it's not bad ALL the time. When you're doing a workout and getting aerobic, you ARE going to breath first into those accessories and intercostals. BUT, don't kid yourself and think that you're actually taking a deep breath. You're not. You're taking a high, shallow breath. This type of breathing has the potential to keep your sympathetic nervous system revved up. Remember that's your fight or flight, your get-up-and-go response. And look, it’s not like lifting your shoulders once will trigger internal panic. It’s that habitual shallow, rapid breathing patterns tend to keep your body ready to mobilize. And, we need that...SOMETIMES.

BUT, when you're trying to create a sense of calm authority, when you're wanting to expand your vocal range and have full flexibility for expression, when you're needing to get your nervous system under control, that high breathing will not serve you well. Not only will you and your jurors stay in a revved up sympathetic system, you will be activating and tensing all the muscles that surround the vocal cords. It's just not reasonable to think you'll ever achieve a relaxed state, and easy access to your voice. You're going to sound tight and constricted. Of course you are.

So where does "belly breathing" or "abdominal breathing" come into the lexicon? Well, when the diaphragm is triggered to activate and descend, it crowds into the abdominal cavity, moving the contents (meaning, your organs) slightly downward and outward, which is why the abdominal wall gently expands.

And what does "grounded" mean? Grounded breathing is another name for the same mechanics. It's breathing lower to the ground, reducing the lift and activation of the neck, chest, and shoulders. It's regulating your nervous system to function more in the parasympathetic branch and keeping your heart rate calm and steady. It's getting your body to be "at the ready" but not frantic, and not mobilized for threat. It's a quiet control.

If you have an option to, right now, just stand or sit up tall at your desk. Shift your weight from your heels to your toes, and then try to find the balance between them. Put one hand on your chest, and one hand at the belt line (lower abdominal muscles). Try to let the breath expand into that lower hand while keeping your upper hand still. It's not going to be perfect and we definitely don't want this to force tension and abdominal rigidity. But, likely, this is something to practice throughout your day, and maybe when you're in front of a mirror so you can see what's happening.

When you consistently access this lower, more regulated breathing pattern, you make it much easier to communicate authority without forcing it or overcompensating with bravado and gimmicks. Authority doesn’t begin in your words; it begins in your body — until next time, keep fostering your voice.