In this episode, Kristi unveils the two personality types that quietly shut jurors down long before your story ever gets a chance to land: the know-it-all and the chronic apologizer. Both create emotional friction that drains jurors' attention and engagement — just in opposite ways. Kristi breaks down how each style shows up vocally and nonverbally in the courtroom, why jurors feel instantly exhausted by them, and how even small shifts in vocal presence, humility, and breath-supported delivery can completely change how jurors perceive you.

This is a mindset-and-voice tune-up every trial attorney needs.

LISTEN HERE...

In this episode, you'll learn:

1. Why know-it-all energy is instantly detectable — and instantly off-putting — to jurors

2. How insecurity-based communication shows up in your tone, breath, volume, and physical presence

3. The emotional toll both extremes place on jurors (and why that drains their ability to retain facts)

4. What “emotional currency” is and how your delivery either preserves or depletes it

5. Simple vocal strategies to move toward confident, humble authority

6. How breath, pitch, projection, and melody help you communicate conviction without arrogance

7. The small (but mighty) 10% vocal shift that can change juror perception instantly

Key Takeaway:

Jurors connect to you before they connect to your case. Know-it-all energy shuts them down and apologizer energy makes them caretake you — both drain their emotional bandwidth. Humility + conviction, supported by intentional breath and steady vocal presence, is the winning middle ground.

Favorite moment:

Kristi’s description of how the apologizer forces jurors into emotional caretaking mode — and how that completely hijacks their ability to follow the story — is a mic-drop reminder of how subconsciously jurors respond to vocal delivery.

Links & Resources:

1. Email Kristi directly: [email protected]

2. Connect on Instagram: @fostervoicestudio

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And share this episode with a colleague who might be showing up as either of these extremes (with love, of course).

Until next time…keep fostering your voice.

TRANSCRIPT:

HELLLOOO!!! Hello Foster Fam! Welcome to today's episode of the Foster Your Voice Podcast. If you haven't already, please pause your listen quick to go leave a 5-star rating, and if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, write just a quick review for the podcast as well. My birthday's coming up and I'd LOVE to hear how the podcast is helping you, what you're learning, and how you're noticing your communication level-up. So, I invite you to pause and go do that quick. I'll still be here when you press play again.

Okay, today I'm gonna share with you the two types of personalities that just utterly SEND me over the edge and how they show up in the courtroom if you're not careful. But before we dive in, I just want to acknowledge that this is the time of year when I start doing some hardcore reflection as the current year wraps up and as I project into the next year—intentions, goals, etc.

I feel like this time of year, well, throughout the year, but this time of year in particular, because it's heavy on the self-reflection, this is the time to really pay attention to the TONE of your inner voice.

My inner voice is usually positive. Usually, I have an inner voice that cheers me on, bolsters my courage, helps me keep a perspective that maintains my mental health. But...it's not ALWAYS positive. Sometimes my innervoice is a big dumb jerk and it tries to tell me that I'm an imposter that doesn't know crap and that no one will find any value in what I have to offer. I mean...that's just cruel. And sometimes YOUR innervoice might be a jerk too.

So, I just heard a brilliant hack for when that innervoice is a big ol' meany. Change it's vocal tone. Harness all the Disney Adult energy you can muster, and make that inner bully have a Mickey Mouse voice. Your brain can't take Mickey Mouse seriously when it's calling your worthless

This will take some awareness, and some "catching it in the act" focus, but your brain is fixable. You can rewire the neural pathways that hijack your inner monologue. The brain is so weird and so cool.

—BREAK—

I’m not proud of it, but listen — we all have those personalities that grate on our nerves. There are some personality types that just set me off. They annoy me to no end and I just cannot rise above to be gracious and stay engaged. I mean, maybe they ARE a nice person; philanthropic, neighborly, good humored, but if they are one of these 2 personalities, it will be really hard for me to have a meaningful relationship with them.

So, what are they?

The know-it-all and the apologizer. And what’s wild is — these two extremes show up in the courtroom more than you’d think.

I think a LOT of folks are turned off by know-it-alls. I mean, there's just an arrogance that encircles a know-it-all; "there's nothing YOU can teach ME, furthermore, your presence here is a waste of everybody's time and energy." That's how a know-it-all presents themselves.

The total lack of humility is utterly offensive to me. But also, I am personally alarmed at how it affects me, like, how I adjust when I'm around know-it-alls. I shut down. They're not going to accept or take interest in what I say anyway, so I just clam up. My brain basically folds its arms and says, ‘Oh, we’re doing this today. FINE.’

I'm not saying that I LIKE this response. And, usually, I do try to equal things out and I try to be bold and speak up, but it's a short-lived battle. They are unwilling, or maybe even unable, to hear any other perspective or entertain a well-intended challenge.

As an attorney, you have a delicate balance and a thin line you have to navigate. If I’m shutting down — when my job is literally to listen to attorneys for a living — imagine how fast a juror shuts down. I mean, as far as the case goes, you DO know more that other folks. You are coming in with exponentially more information than the jurors. But your MINDSET still needs to be one of curiosity and humility. The jurors are bringing something unique to the proceedings, and you GET to welcome their insight.

Expertise is essential; entitlement is optional. Jurors can feel the difference instantly. Know-it-allery has an ENERGY about it. Jurors can tell when you're a know-it-all. When you lack sincerity in your questions during jury selection, and you are robotically moving through YOUR agenda to be able to prove YOUR point. You risk them shutting down. Why should they waste their emotional currency on you if they can already tell that you will not honor their vulnerability in this space?

Okay, now the other personality that sends me over the edge is the chronic apologizer; probably the polar opposite of the know-it-all. These are the people who feel like what they have to offer is 2nd rate, not worthy of consideration. I've known people who actually apologize as they're speaking, "Sorry." "I'm sorry." And attorneys do this all the time — you just do it nonverbally.

You may not be using the actual apology words, but the MINDSET of insecurity impacts your nonverbal communication more than you realize. You end up apologizing with your tone. Being soft-spoken, letting your voice trail off at the ends of phrases, speaking with an over-saturation of headvoice resonance and lack of presences—you're unintentionally undermining your authority. You shrink. You play small. A voice that shrinks makes jurors work harder to follow you — and when they work harder, they retain less.

And what's annoying about that is that you make ME have to caretake for you. As a juror, you would be putting me in a position to have to rally the energy, bolster you, use my emotional currency to encourage you and show you that I truly AM interested in your presentation. When I have to emotionally prop you up, I stop listening to the actual story — because I’m suddenly managing you instead of learning about your client.

It's EXHAUSTING! And then, I've spent all my emotional currency on YOU instead of on your client. I have nothing left when you need me to give myself, my experience, my knowledge, and my passion into advocating for your client in the deliberation room. I'm spent.

The know-it-all makes me an emotional miser, and the apologizer makes me emotionally bankrupt. Either way, you’ve drained me — and a drained juror is a disengaged juror.

So, how can you make sure you're not riding the pendulum to a far extreme and turning your jury off to your client because of your approach?

Check yourself at the door, or in the car before you enter the courthouse. Set an intention towards genuine curiosity and remind yourself to value the contributions that you are not yet aware of. Open your heart to how the jury might enlighten and inspire you. Don't let your pride and your ego run the show. Know your stuff, but be in pursuit of sincere, human connection throughout. Humility opens the door; conviction invites jurors to walk through it with you.

And practice speaking with conviction, using firm yet approachable inflections. Increase melody, and explore your middle voice to capture just how interesting your case facts are. Then make sure your breath is able to sustain you as you lower your pitch and project for a more authoritative presentation. Your voice is an extension of your expertise—let it reflect your confidence and command.

And we're not talking about doing a complete vocal overhaul here. Even a 10% increase in vocal presence can turn you from ‘uncertain’ to ‘credible’ in a juror’s subconscious.

Reach out if feel like you need some personal guidance and help finding more dimension in your voice and in your nonverbal approach. Send me an email at [email protected] or send me a DM at my instagram @fostervoicestudio. I'd love to help you achieve the sincere, authentic connection with your jury that you want. Jurors connect to YOU long before they connect to your case — and your voice and mindset are the first cues they read.

Until next time...keep fostering your voice.