This episode begins with a lighthearted story about outdoor walks and ends with a powerful lesson on nonverbal communication. Kristi explores how a small, intentional gesture—like a nod—can change the emotional tone of an interaction and deepen connection. Whether you’re walking past a stranger or speaking to a jury, your breath, presence, and micro-movements tell a story. In this episode, you’ll learn how to use breath, facial expression and tone to support your full nonverbal communication strategy so your interactions with jurors feel calm, credible, and human.

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In this episode, you'll learn:

1. How breath anchors your nonverbal cues and helps you stay grounded as you communicate

2. Why a single nod, paired with steady breathing, creates subconscious rapport

3. The neuroscience behind mirroring and how jurors (or any audience) naturally respond to your presence

4. The difference between authentic and performative nodding

5. A quick self-check exercise to sync your breath with your gestures

Key Takeaway:

Connection doesn’t require grand gestures. With a steady breath and a simple nod, you can make your listener feel seen, respected, and safe—whether you’re in conversation, on a walk, or in front of a jury.

Favorite moment:

“When paired with calm eye contact and a steady breath, your nod helps your listener feel you’re with them—not above them. That’s the kind of interaction that builds trust.”

Links & Resources:

1. Dan Harris' on-screen panic attack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qULQ6Qum3P0

2. Dan Harris' TEDTalk excerpt: https://www.facebook.com/reel/1379570276542029

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TRANSCRIPT:

Helloooo! Hello Foster Fam! It's the week of Thanksgiving, and regardless of how, or even if you celebrate the actual day, it's a nationally recognized week where we, collectively, are more intentional about gratitude. It's no secret that 2025 has been a particularly difficult year especially on relationships and in our desire to connect with others. So, when i came across this TED Talk excerpt from Dan Harris, I thought it was really apropos and worth passing on to you as well.

I'm a little embarrassed that I didn't know who Dan Harris was. For 21 years, he worked at ABC News, where he anchored such shows as Nightline and the weekend editions of Good Morning America. He is the author of the #1 New York Times best-selling memoir, 10% Happier, about "a fidgety, skeptical news anchor who finds meditation." AND he’s also the host of the 10% Happier podcast where he interviews celebrities, entrepreneurs, authors, scientists and meditation teachers about how to do life better.

While working as an anchor for ABC News, Dan had an on-air panic attack. I've put the link in the show notes where he talks about the moment that it happened, and you can see if for yourself. It was a moment that changed his life and sent him in a new direction, becoming a dedicated meditator and mentoring others in how to meditate as well.

In his TED Talk, Dan explains the science behind doing a loving-kindness meditation, and how it can boost your resiliency, quiet your inner critic and simply make you more pleasant to be around. I thought it might be good for us to practice it together today.

If you can't do this now, like if you're driving, or if you are in a rush, you can skip ahead to our main topic for today—how a simple nonverbal gesture can pack a huge impact. Just make sure you return to this later.

Here's how this will go:

One at a time, I'm going to ask you to bring to your mind's eye a person. Then, once you have them, once you can see them in your imagination, you're going to think 4 statements about each. You can say them out loud with me if you want.

So, get to a comfortable place. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes if you're comfortable and safe to do so. Now, picture in your mind:

1. easy person, good friend, someone that's easy to smile around

2. yourself

3. mentor/helper

4. neutral or overlooked person

5. difficult person

6. all beings, everywhere

Now say these 4 statements. Direct them towards that person in your head:

1. May you be happy

2. May you be safe

3. May you be healthy

4. May you live with ease

And now, I pray the same for you.

1. May you be happy

2. May you be safe

3. May you be healthy

4. May you live with ease

Happy Thanksgiving week.

—BREAK—

So, this summer, I decided I wanted to become… an outdoor exerciser.

Now, if you know me personally, you already know that sentence alone is hilarious.

I’ve never been what you’d call “outdoorsy.” My version of outdoor activity has typically been sitting at a restaurant patio for lunch—and even then, I’m silently praying the waiter brings me an indoor table if it’s too sunny or too buggy or if there are birds.

But something shifted this summer. I don’t know if it’s hormones, the state of the world, or maybe just divine intervention, but I found myself craving fresh air. Movement. Sunshine. Space.

So I started walking outside.

And, you know what? Turns out, that whole “go for a walk, get fresh air, it’s good for your mental health” thing?

It’s… true. Who knew?

I’ve been walking several times a week now. I even had to go get new walking shoes, because mine, you know...that you're supposed to replace every year...mine were over 4 years old. So, I'm kitted up with new Hokas. I’m lucky to live near a few beautiful, tree-lined, paved paths where I feel safe walking alone. People are out with dogs, playing PokemonGo, listening to podcasts (hi if that’s you right now!), and it’s peaceful.

But there’s something that’s caught my attention—something that’s made me think a lot about nonverbal communication.

THE MOMENT OF CURIOSITY

As I walk, of course, I pass other people all the time. Not that i'm racing past them. No, I mean, people are walking towards me and we pass by each other. And some of them smile or wave, maybe say hello or "Morning".

But others—many others—make zero eye contact. Nothing. Not even a flicker to acknowledge we're sharing the sidewalk together.

And I’ll be honest… it kind of hurts my soul a little.

I’m not trying to make best friends on the trail. I don’t want to stop and have a whole conversation.

But would a simple nod of acknowledgment kill ya?

That tiny moment—just a second of connection—can completely change the emotional tone of an encounter. It says:

I see you. You exist. We’re sharing this space together.

It’s simple. But it’s powerful.

And that got me thinking…

In the courtroom, that same small gesture carries massive weight.

THE NOD AS NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Let’s talk about the nod.

A nod can be:

1. A nod of acknowledgment — “Yes, I hear you.”

2. A nod of agreement — “I’m with you.”

3. A nod of confidence — “You’ve got this.”

4. A nod of encouragement — “Keep going.”

5. A nod of invitation — “Tell me more.”

That little movement of your head can do so much work for you as a communicator.

When used intentionally, it signals warmth, connection, and presence.

When paired with calm eye contact and a steady breath, and facial expressions, it helps your jurors feel safe—that you’re with them, not above them.

And here’s where it gets even cooler: neuroscientifically speaking, nodding can actually trigger mirror neurons in your jurors’ brains.

That means when you nod, they’re more likely to mirror that behavior back—internally or even physically.

That’s nonverbal rapport. It’s subconscious agreement.

Their brains start to sync with yours.

That’s not manipulation—it’s alignment.

THE DANGER OF THE OVER-NOD

Now, like anything powerful, nodding can also be misused.

Have you ever talked to someone who nods too much?

You can practically feel their neck muscles straining from all that movement.

That kind of over-nodding sends mixed messages.

It can come across as overly eager—or worse—impatient.

“Yeah, yeah, get on with it, I’ve stopped listening.”

When I was in college, I had a professor who did that exact thing. He’d nod vigorously through your answer to a question, but his face said, “I’ve already moved on.”

It was this fake empathy loop—his body was saying, “I’m with you,” but his energy was saying, “Please stop talking.”

And that mismatch made me just shut down.

So, yes—nodding too much or too fast can make people feel dismissed or patronized.

And jurors, of course, are hyper-attuned to your body language. They’ll notice.

THE BALANCE OF PRESENCE AND PURPOSE

So how do you use nodding well?

It starts with presence.

If you’re present—breathing, grounded, and connected—your nods will come naturally and feel authentic.

They’ll punctuate key moments in your message, not fill the silence out of nervous energy.

A well-timed nod communicates something words can’t:

It shows that you’re listening to the jury even while you’re speaking.

It shows humility, approachability, and confidence—all at once.

Because confidence isn’t loud.

Confidence is steady.

It’s the attorney who can pause, breathe, make eye contact, and give a slow, deliberate nod that says:

“I trust you to get this.”

“I know this matters.”

“I’m right here with you.”

That’s leadership.

A QUICK SELF-CHECK EXERCISE

So here’s a quick experiment you can try this week:

Next time you’re in conversation—at home, in a meeting, wherever—notice how often you nod.

Are your nods reflexive? Are they fast, repetitive, disconnected from your facial expression?

Or are they intentional—anchored, meaningful, and in rhythm with what’s being said?

Then, take it one step further.

Try adding a breath between nods. Literally: inhale, nod, exhale.

This keeps your body in sync with your message and prevents your nods from becoming performative or reactive.

Because here’s the thing: jurors don’t just listen to your words.

They listen to your energy.

And your energy shows up in the smallest gestures.

THE TAKEAWAY

The next time you stand before a jury—or even across from someone in your everyday life—remember:

Connection doesn’t always need grand gestures.

Sometimes it’s just one slow nod.

A nod that says,

“I see you.”

“I respect you.”

“I’m not in a rush.”

That’s powerful communication.

It humanizes you. It helps jurors trust you. It gives them permission to relax and lean in.

And it makes your courtroom presence feel grounded, relational, and real.

So, this week, as you move through your world—whether you’re walking down a trail or standing in front of twelve strangers—practice the power of the simple nod.

It might just change how people feel in your presence.

And it will definitely change how you feel in theirs.

Until next time—keep breathing, keep connecting, and keep fostering your voice.