Silence might feel like the last thing you want in the courtroom—but when used strategically, it’s one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal. In this episode, we explore how silence works on both the jurors’ brains and emotions, why it helps information stick, and how you can use it to project calm authority. You’ll walk away with practical ways to turn pauses into moments of connection and persuasion.

LISTEN HERE...

In this episode, you'll learn:

1. Why silence isn’t empty—it’s full of processing and meaning.

2. The neuroscience of cognitive load and how pauses help jurors learn.

3. The three types of pauses—anticipation, impact, and reset—and how to use them.

4. How silence shapes juror perception of your credibility and authority.

5. Simple, practical strategies to practice and plan for silence in trial.

Key Takeaway

Silence isn’t absence. It’s presence. When you pause with confidence, jurors don’t disengage—they lean in, process, and internalize your words.

Favorite moment

“A pause isn’t nothing happening. A pause is everything happening. Jurors are processing, connecting dots, making meaning out of what you just said. And if you can learn to wield silence strategically, you stop rushing through your case and start letting your words land.”

Links & Resources

1. Distanced self talk: https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Pmm2CxA9z/?mibextid=wwXIfr

2. Jon Acuff "Soundtracks" https://jonacuff.com/books/

3. Ep. 32 Active Silence https://www.fostervoicestudio.com/blog/32

4. 🎹 John Cage’s 4’33” — the silent piece that inspired this conversation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTEFKFiXSx4&list=RDJTEFKFiXSx4&start_radio=1

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TRANSCRIPT:

(singing) Helllooooo! Hello Foster Fam! Ooh!! It's a good one today. I mean, I get excited to talk about each of our topics. So, is today better than others? You'll have to decide. For me, it would be like picking a favorite child. haha! Even though, I don't have children, so...yeah...the metaphor is breaking down a little bit.

You've heard me talk about how powerful and necessary pauses are, and how to impactful "active silence" is (I'll post the links to a few earlier episodes that cover those topics), but today we're going to talk about how not every silence is equal — there are different intentions to silence you can use each kind with different strategy.

Okay, before I nerd out and before we dissect silence, FIRST i want to talk about a different way of SPEAKING.

As we're quickly approaching the last quarter of the year, it's as good a time as any to just reboot some mindset tools, check in with yourself, your goals, any "soundtracks" that might be broken that you're continuing to use. I'm doing something similar as part of Jon Acuff's goals community. And, I just had a great reminder that if they voice in my head doesn't sound like something that I would say, or the tone in which i would talk to a good friend, then there's probably some cause to change the approach and rewire some things. If you wouldn't talk to a friend that way, then don't talk to yourself that way.

I'm all in this mindset of neurological rewiring, and rewriting neural pathways as I build new habits. So I was really grateful for this reel that I came across that introduced me to "distanced self talk" and the benefits of it.

Are you familiar with this? I mean, I guess I was familiar with it already, but I didn't know the name of it.

It's basically, talking to yourself, out loud, in the 3rd person. So, instead of just talking to myself, I would use my name and say Kristi [whatever, whatever] out loud. When you use your name instead of “I,” your brain perceives the situation with a little bit of distance. This decreases activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain that ramps up fear, stress, and emotional intensity.

Instead, it increases activity in the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex (DLPFC), the region linked to reasoning, planning, and self-control. This shift helps you respond with logic and perspective instead of raw emotion.

Normally, “I-talk” (e.g., “Why am I so bad at this?”) keeps us stuck in rumination. Obsessing. Having difficulty letting go or moving on. Just stuck. By switching to your name (e.g., “Kristi, you’ve done hard things before — breathe”) activates self-distancing, similar to how you’d coach or talk to a friend.

Creating that psychological space helps to make stressful events feel less overwhelming. Maybe give it a try this week and then let me know how it goes. I'll also put the link to the reel that I saw in the shownotes so you can check it out too. Let's do some neurological rewiring this week!

—BREAK—

As I mentioned earlier, today, we’re talking about silence, which, I see the irony. I mean, at first glance, it might feel counterintuitive for a podcast about voice to TALK about silence. But here we are. hahah!

The truth is that silence is just as much a part of your communication toolkit as sound. And in the courtroom, it can be one of the most powerful tools you have.

Now, you probably already know I grew up in a family of singers. My dad was a professional gospel musician, and music was just part of our everyday life—gospel, jazz, choral singing, musical theater. It’s my heritage. My undergrad degree is in classical vocal performance, but what you may not know is that I’ve also been a pianist most of my life.

That brings me to an unusual piece of piano “music” by John Cage, written in 1952, called Four Minutes and Thirty-Three Seconds. What is so unusual about this piece is that, in it, the performer doesn’t play a single note. Not one. Instead, the score simply says, “tacet”— which is music-speak for "be silent."

So, what happens for those four and a half minutes? The “music” becomes the ambient sounds in the room. Coughs. Shuffling. Chairs creaking. A bird chirping outside. The audience breathing. Cage’s point was this: silence isn’t empty. Silence is full. It’s full of everything else we normally overlook.

That’s exactly how silence works in the courtroom. A pause isn’t nothing happening. A pause is everything happening. Jurors are processing, connecting dots, making meaning out of what you just said. And if you can learn to wield silence strategically, you stop rushing through your case and start letting your words land.

Why Silence Works: The Neuroscience

Now let’s back this up with science for a minute.

Your jurors’ brains can’t simultaneously take in new information and process it deeply. That’s just how human cognition works. Neuroscientists call it “cognitive load.” When you rush through your points without pausing, jurors start to drop information—they literally can’t keep up.

But when you pause, their working memory gets a breather. They encode what you just said, connect it to what they already know, and store it in a way they can recall later in deliberations.

Pausing is the gift of time. Without it, your jurors are constantly playing catch-up, and they’ll miss the very details you wanted them to remember. So silence isn’t empty. It’s active. It’s doing the heavy lifting of your advocacy.

Three Movements of Silence

And that brings us back to John Cage. His piece has three movements—three distinct silences. Let’s walk through them.

First Movement: The Anticipation Pause

To start the piece, the silence begins the moment the pianist lifts the lid. The audience leans in, expecting sound.

In trial, this is the pause before you deliver something important. The jury leans in, waiting to receive it. You create this pause with posture—plant your feet, relax your shoulders, breathe low and slow. Hold eye contact. Let them anticipate.

Second Movement: The Impact Pause

Cage marked each movement separately so listeners were forced to notice: “Oh, something new has begun.”

For you, this is the pause after you deliver a key point. Don’t rush on. Stand tall. Keep still. Let your words echo in their minds. This is the space where jurors replay your statement, reframe it in their own terms, and begin to internalize it. If you move on too quickly, you steal that chance from them.

Third Movement: The Reset Pause

Cage ends with silence, closing the piece. This is reflection space.

For attorneys, this pause is about transition. It’s the breath you take before shifting to a new concept. It signals: “What came before matters. And now we’re moving on.” This might be as simple as a softened expression, a deep but quiet breath, or even taking a couple of steps to a new position. That small change gives your jurors space to reset too.

What Silence Shows About You

Now, let me say the thing we're all thinking: silence can feel scary. You might be afraid that you'll lose momentum if you pause too long. "Won’t jurors think I’ve lost my train of thought?”

Actually, the opposite is true. When you can hold silence comfortably, you project calm authority. You look in control. And people trust leaders who don’t seem rushed, frantic, or desperate to fill the air.

If you are not comfortable in the pause, we are not comfortable in the pause. But when you breathe, stay tall, and keep your presence alive in silence—we relax too.

Practical Takeaways

So how do you start using silence strategically in your own courtroom work?

1. Notice your habits. Do you rush? Do you fill every gap with “um” or “so”? Awareness is step one.

2. Practice off-stage. Pause after a key sentence in conversation with a friend. Notice how they lean in. Silence is a skill—build it in low-stakes situations.

3. Plan for silence. Mark your opening or closing notes with intentional pauses. Literally write “pause” in your outline. The more you plan for them, the more natural they’ll feel.

4. Trust your jurors. They need time to process. Give it to them. Don’t be afraid of their silence either—it means they’re working.

Wrap-Up

So here’s your takeaway today: silence isn’t absence. It’s presence.

When you hold space with confidence, you allow jurors to think, to feel, and to truly absorb your words. Anticipation pauses pull them in. Impact pauses help them digest. Reset pauses let them breathe and move with you.

Your words don’t evaporate when you go quiet. They settle. They sink in. They stay.

So, the next time you’re tempted to rush through—don’t. Trust the silence. Let it work for you.

Thanks for joining me today, Foster Fam. If this episode resonated, I’d love it if you shared it with a colleague—or left a quick review. It helps other trial attorneys find the show. Until next time, keep fostering your voice.