Most trial attorneys think authenticity means “just be yourself.” But in this episode, Kristi reframes what authenticity really is — and why your voice isn’t something to fix, but something to honor and expand.

Through stories from her vocal snapshot sessions, Kristi explores the deep connection between self-perception, vocal growth, and leadership presence. You’ll learn why discomfort is a sign of expansion, how your brain resists change to protect you, and what it means to align your voice with who you truly are — not who you think you’re supposed to sound like.

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In this episode, you’ll learn:

1. Why your voice is literally one of a kind — down to the cellular level.

2. How your relationship with your voice shapes your courtroom authority.

3. The real reason attorneys say, “I don’t like my voice,” and how to change that.

4. Why your brain tells you you’re “faking it” when you start to grow.

5. The mindset shift that redefines authenticity as alignment, not comfort.

6. How exploring your full vocal range helps reveal — not distort — who you are.

Key Takeaway:

Your voice doesn’t make you authentic.

It reveals the authenticity that’s already there.

Favorite Moment:

"Jurors, clients, even your family — they don’t want perfect voices. They want real ones. Real voices make people lean in. Real voices invite connection. Real voices lead."

Links & Resources:

1. Listening Experiment https://www.instagram.com/reel/DLqHQizxy55/?igsh=MW43a2N1NzdjcG1tdg==

2. TO BOOK A VOCAL SNAPSHOT SESSION https://calendly.com/fostervoicestudio/30-minute-assessment-clone

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If this episode helped you rethink what it means to “sound authentic,” share it with a colleague who’s ready to stop performing and start connecting.

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TRANSCRIPT:

Hellooo! Hello Foster Fam. Welcome back. I'm excited about today's episode. In fact, I just might get a little preachy and fired up. It's just a really important concept that I deeply, deeply want you to hear, internalize, and understand in your core. Haha! How's that for a set up? ha!

Before diving in, here's just a quick point of curiosity or interesting find. This month in particular, I feel like I've been talking a lot about how the brain is always looking for patterns and is always trying to predict things. But, when it doesn't have a framework for what it's scanning, what it's taking in, things can get jumbled.

I'm putting a link in the show notes to an Instagram reel I came across that just perfectly demonstrates this concept. The presenter, the guy on the reel, played an audio recording that was distorted and garbled. I couldn't understand any of it really. Then he played a clear recording where I could easily understand everything being said. But THEN, he played the first, garbled, recording again and, wouldn't you know it, I could hear the message through the distortion with no problem at all.

My brain had a context. It had a framework to understand. Your jury is needing the same. They need a little heads up as to WHY they're being asked questions in jury selection. Because when you ask too generalized of questions, their brain will send them down a path that may not have anything to do with your actual case. Then, when they find out what your case is really about, they'll be pissed at YOU for leading them astray. Now, it's really because they feel silly that they went down "the wrong" path. But YOU could have helped them and you didn't.

Now, some of you have opportunities to do mini-openings, prior to jury selection. This can serve that purpose of giving context. You don't get to do any advocacy or presentation of evidence, of course, but you can give at least the context for why everyone is dressed in their Sunday best and sitting in the courtroom.

If you're NOT doing mini-openings, then for the love of the jury, start your voir dire with a brief context statement. "This is about a hospital." "This is about road safety." "This is about safety in a workplace." I mean...just SOMETHING.

If you don't, you may be leaving your jury with only a garbled, distorted audio clip.

—BREAK—

One of my favorite parts of this work — truly one of the greatest privileges — is getting to hear what I call the most unique voice in the world every single time I meet with someone new.

In my vocal snapshot sessions — which, by the way, you should try saying five times fast, it’s impossible — I get to listen to, analyze, and interpret the voices of people from all over the country.

And every single time, I’m reminded: no one else in the world has a voice like yours.

Your voice is cellular. It’s literally made of muscle fibers and cells that belong only to you.

That’s extraordinary.

So when someone sits across from me and I ask my first question — “Do you like your voice?” — I’m always a little surprised by what happens next.

Most people pause… sigh a little… and say, “Not really.” Or, sometimes, a flat-out, “No.”

And it breaks my heart a little every time.

THE FOUNDATIONAL VOICE

Because before we ever talk about tone, breath, pitch, or volume — we have to talk about relationship.

Specifically, the relationship you have with your own voice.

Here’s what I always remind them: you already have people in your life who love your voice.

You have children who are comforted by it.

A partner who softens when they hear it.

Friends who can pick your voice out of a crowded room and instantly smile.

Your voice, as it is right now, has been faithfully carrying you through every conversation, every argument, every laughter-filled moment of your life.

So before you try to fix it — honor it.

Your foundational voice is your baseline — your home.

And once you’ve accepted and honored it, then we can build on it.

STRENGTHENING THE FOUNDATION

See, the goal isn’t to completely change your voice. I don’t want you to sound like me, or your favorite podcaster, or that one attorney you admire who commands a room with thunder.

I want you to understand your sound — where it’s strong, where it’s steady, and where it sometimes cracks under pressure.

Because when you understand it, you can work with it.

Knowledge is power.

Once you know the strengths and potential weak spots, you can do the work to grow — to expand your range, deepen your resonance, and strengthen your confidence.

That’s where real development begins.

MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL OBSTRUCTIONS

Now, here’s where things get tricky — not in your vocal cords, but in your mind.

When I ask people to describe their voice, I get all kinds of responses:

“It’s too deep.”

“It’s too nasally.”

“I sound like a hick.”

“I’m too soft-spoken.”

“I sound fake when I try something new.”

And I get it — I’ve heard these same sentences from high-level trial lawyers, singers, executives, teachers… everyone.

But here’s what’s actually happening: these self-assessments turn into anchors. They weigh you down. They become the mental scripts that keep you small, even when your body is ready to grow.

And when you do start experimenting — when you begin to breathe differently, speak louder, pause longer, or add emotion — your brain starts fighting back.

It says:

“You sound fake.”

“You’re not being authentic.”

“People will think you’re performing.”

That’s your brain’s protective mechanism.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong — it means you’re doing something new.

Your brain equates new with unsafe. It wants the certainty of the familiar, even if the familiar isn’t serving you anymore.

So instead of judging the discomfort, interpret it correctly: it’s just a sign of growth.

THE AUTHENTICITY REFRAME

I recently attended a live coaching session with one of my favorite mindset teachers, Jon Acuff.

He said something that hit me hard — he said:

“Your work isn’t who you are. Your work is a byproduct of knowing who you are.”

I loved that. And I think we can expand it into the world of communication.

Because your voice isn’t who you are either.

Your voice is a byproduct of knowing who you are.

Your voice doesn’t create authenticity.

Authenticity creates a powerful voice.

Let me say that again, because it’s worth repeating:

Your voice doesn’t make you authentic — it reveals the authenticity that’s already there.

When you start exploring new vocal possibilities — expanding your range, adding tone color, shifting rhythm — your brain might say, “This feels fake.”

But it’s not fake.

You’re not borrowing someone else’s voice.

You’re creating new sound from inside your own body — your cells, your muscles, your breath.

That’s not performance. That’s embodiment.

THE TAKEAWAY: REDEFINING AUTHENTICITY

Authenticity isn’t about comfort.

It’s about alignment.

When you find alignment between your inner state and your outward expression — when your tone, your breath, your body language, and your message all point in the same direction — that’s authenticity.

Your voice is simply the instrument that reveals that alignment to the world.

So if your voice shakes when you’re speaking truth, that’s authentic.

If it grows stronger as your confidence builds, that’s authentic.

If it expands into new colors and dynamics as you grow — that’s authentic, too.

Don’t confuse “new” with “inauthentic.”

You’re not changing who you are.

You’re uncovering more of who you are.

And when you can stand in that — when you can own the full spectrum of your voice, from soft compassion to firm authority — you become magnetic.

Because here’s the secret:

Jurors, clients, even your family — they don’t want perfect voices.

They want real ones.

Real voices make people lean in.

Real voices invite connection.

Real voices lead.

So, as you move through your week, I want you to do two things:

1. Notice your voice.

   When you hear it on a recording or feel it vibrate in your chest, resist the urge to critique. Instead, just say: “That’s mine.”

2. Then, ask it to grow.

   Try one new thing — a little more volume, a slower pace, a new emotional tone — and notice what happens.

Your voice is not a mask you wear.

It’s the most personal, powerful, and revealing part of who you already are.

So stop trying to sound authentic — and start letting your authentic self sound.

Until next time, honor your foundation… and keep fostering your voice.